The man is awesome

Sometimes The Man just gets it and is awesome. So he deserves a little bragging about instead of bashing.

I used to be in really good freaking shape...literally I ran 2 marathons, one while pregnant, 8 halfs, one while pregnant...basically I ran a lot and worked out alot. My gym choice was this studio called A healthy Balance #teamahb and I thrived there. Not I'm the drp tons of weight way because that was never my goal but I became faster, stronger, and happier.

Post baby. Im not in marathon running shape and won't be for a long time. I met with my coach at ahb and basically asked what do I do v. What I can afford. (Note: good coaches aren't free!). She presented packages said I know it's alot of money but think about it for a while.

I panicked. I can't afford this. I have a baby who requires daycare and diapers. Then I went and talked to the Man and you know what he said. "You should do it."

Then he reminded me of why....going to AHB had me at the healthiest I'd ever been, both physically and mentally. My workouts and training helped me to stay focused, burn off anxious energy, sleep better, and feel good. The Man noticed too...he said I was happier when I was training and it made him happy for me and our relationship. Then he told me think of mini man and what kind of mom you want to be. The man said he'd rather have me be poor but healthy and happy then a few hundred dollars richer a year but unhappy and not healthy.

So guess who gets to go back to her beloved #teamahb. This new mom. And she couldn't be happier.

Washcloths

Mini man had visitors, lots of them and for a while there it was pretty damn exhausting. So exhausting in fact that I was (and maybe am) still behind on laundry.  Apparently that's the story of my life from now on, chores that need to be done but I just don't care enough to do them.

Anyway one visitor came and asked me for tweezers. Tweezers those I have those I use regularly to keep my eyebrows in check. Tweezers granted.

Next request: washcloth. Blank stare from me.
Visitor: don't you have them. Me: somewhere.
See here's the thing I wash my face when I shower and splash water on it from the sink. So if you ask me for a washcloth and sound judgey doing so...known that I too am judging you. Is it that hard to wash your face in the shower or just splash water on with your hands? Because right now the washcloths I can find that are clean have rubber ducks on them.

And washcloths not on my radar of essentials to survive each day.

Visitors and mini man

We live far away from our families so I get it, we have a baby and you want to see mini man. Cool. Plan your trip let us know when and then come on out. However here's what you can expect

1. A crying baby.
2. A dirty house
3. A half empty fridge with expired milk
4. A pile of laundry that may or may not be clean
5. Me to be tired.
6. Me to take naps, yes when you are here.
7. Zero fun.

I know the Man and I were so much fun before and like did stuff and maybe even cleaned our house. You know what, now all I want is to nap, maybe go to the bathroom without hearing mini man cry and take a shower long enough to shave both my legs.

So sure come out and visit but don't expect entertainment unless it's in the form of crying a baby and observing me catch up on sleep.

Mini Man is Houdini

First time mom's make mistakes lots of them I get it and I know that I will continue to make them. You know what I did not expect, to come into my child's room at 3:30a to him naked in his crib. NAKED!

Yes it has been hot out but no I put him in a diaper and pajamas and he was swaddled in two blankets at 11 when he went down but next time he cried at 3:35a he was naked.

Seriously Houdini how did that happen? You have hands and feet and you're a wiggle worm but you usually have no control or clue how to use them. So basically the Mini Man is a magician or a freakING wizard because pajamas diapers and swaddled cannot confine him.
#newmomlife #babyescapes #newmomfail

Holy Crap I had a blog...

Welll let me start by saying I completely forgot I had this blog and two I guess the man was right seeing as I couldn't manage one post a month. But don't tell him that.

So here are some basic updates on what the blog is now likely to include
1. The man and I went from living in sin to making it legit. Much to the happiness of my grandparents my younger brother can no longer call me the harlots and yell Shame! When I walk in the door.
2. The Man and I Bought a house. It's old and it needed and continues to need lots of work
3. The man and I got a dog. This is Bailey, aka #baileybear bailey was picked out by the Man so someone in the family would love him unconditionally...she does not turns out I am or was her favorite.

4. We made a mini version of the Man. So now there is The Man, Bailey, Mini Man and me. 

Since there have been many changes to life since I've moved out here this is now bound to be more like the mad ramblings of a sleep deprived new mother slash old feeling wife, turning almost 30, but trying to terasure the very last ny 20s has to offer. 

Until next time. -BreMarie

New People are not aliens Bre...

After living in Boston for a few  months, I decided that it was about time I branch out of my comfort zone, join some groups, meet some people...you know be a social human being.  I have always been social and confident, but suddenly here I was plucked down into a new city, a new state, a whole new side of the country and I was in unfamiliar ground.  It was like dating again, but worse because well I was trying to impress the same sex, and let's face it, girls are tough...I mean mean girls was based on Tina Fey's high school right:

So any who, I finally worked up the courage and decided I was going to join something co-ed; I look at sports teams, and realized they're always softball.  Let me explain...I detest playing softball, I suck at it, people want to yell at me, you stand around a lot, I have poor depth perception, not my game.  Volleyball, yeah I could handle that, until I saw the heights of the people who played in those leagues or the colleges they played at...then I found it, the group for me...runners.  It made sense, I ran through high school, but wasn't amazing so running groups it was. 

This was it, the night, I was going to meet some of the people at a bar for a drink before deciding whether or not to officially join.  I was walking to it and had a moment of panic, I called a friend, Nicole and explained that I was concerned.  She informed me logically I shouldnt have gone alone, at least now she knew where to report I went missing from, and that despite all of my fears and suspicions...people are not aliens.

 

I dont know if she missed that part of Men In Black where the man dies and his brain opens and it is an alien, but if it happened to Will Smith, clearly it's only a matter of time until it happens to me.  So I decided to report where I was, and walk inside.   And guess what...aliens they were not, they were normal, runners who had moved here from other parts of the country like myself and figuring a running group would help them meet new people.  So the lesson learned from this is that yes, new people are not aliens, "the man" should have probably come with me to meet them in case they were, but when all else fails, call a good friend, like Nicole who at least takes notes on where you will have disappeared from.

Lesson #4...I switched to lessons

So while I realize the posts are old and far and few  between, I have decided to backdate them, to their original idea date.  You see, I was told I could never successfully write a blog with at least one post a month, and while I am behind, this is my attempt to prove them wrong.  So I had a discussion about this blog...

Man: Bre, you can't keep up a blog, and you can't have it all be Rules, that'll be boring and no-one wants to study your rules.
Me: Well it's not rules to live by it's rules of observation, or something.  It's like suggestions for life as learned from moving across country with a boy.
Man: That makes no sense, it's not rules. Nothing happens, and you certainly don't follow them, I mean you still watch Greys (Blog 2)
Me: Fine Mr. Engineer, I understand you're scientific mind can only handle concrete things so I will adapt.  They will henceforth be called....LESSONS.

You see Lessons suggest something you should learn in a set period of time.  I realize that this may also be incorrect in that I often fail to learn anything, however "Random Ramblings of  a Mad Woman" just doesn't have quite the same appeal.  Lessons imply this may be of some small value to you and it's not just time wasting away in your day that you'll wish you had back...I should warn you the likelihood of this happening is slim to zero.  You will wish that you had the seconds of your life back, and guess what you're not getting them...